As of lately i feel as if im in a rut. A rut i have been in many times before but this time it’s different, i have a almost 4 month old along with the rut. So really i guess this rut is different- but there a lot of the same anxieties/worries/fears and i think a lot of it has to do with the lack of me paying attention to me and taking care of my basic needs. Does that sound selfish?
i hope not. But today, when the hubs got home, i decided to take a shower. Whilst i was showering i was in shock that the last time i took a shower was Saturday! SATURDAY PEOPLE! annnd on top of that, i’ve been wearing the same pair of yoga pants and crappy tee for three days annnnd i’ve been working out in them as well as sleeping in them. (not to mention the lovely accumulating spit up and slobber)
Gross? more like rancid-disgusto
It’s not that i didnt want to shower it’s that i didnt have time and/or i was just going to work out and get sweaty, so what was the point, right?
mmmm yeah no.
but with the no showering comes the no make-up, the no getting dressed, spending waaaay to much time on my computer instead of being productive and forgetting to eat, brush my teeth, shave and actually do something with my nappy hair!
Yes- having a baby is hard and takes a toll on me but at the same time i need to develop a way for me to feel better about myself even if it’s as simple as putting on makeup and some jeans. Its amazing what the little things can do for your self esteem. Like for instance on days when im feelin great im usually dressed and prettied up and on days (most days unfortunately) when im feeling blah and down on myself you can usually find me marinating in my own juices and looking like i got beat with the ugly stanky stick.
It’s crazy how incredibly selfless you are as a mom but often time feel sooo selfish when you do something for you.
Like for example i go to pilates on Mondays and Wednesdays and Yoga on Tuesday and Thursdays- for only one hour.
and by the end of the classes im about ready to bolt home just so i can spend time with my baby and not neglect him- which if you dont have kids, or maybe you do and this just didnt happen to you, but i feel so guilty leaving him and going out to have Me time.
Well, along with changing our eating habits i have decided to create a ‘Better Me In 21 Days’. This is something i feel i need to do or i’ll loose myself and not be whom i’ve been working on so hard to be. Each day, for the next 21 days, i will pick one or two simple things to do each day to help reestablish my foundation (aka who i am/was) and allow me to have me time. But each day builds up on one another. like for example, todays goals will also continue tomorrow and the next day and hopefully become a habit. So by the end of the 21 days i would have (hopefully) developed and reestablished 21 habits i feel will inprove my quality of life.
Today is day one:
The goals for today are..
-Working out has been something i’ve always loved- however im not able to attend a gym during the day so Bodyrock is perfect! 12 minute at home HITT workout- which can be easily done during Gordies nap time. However, it’s a hard 12 minutes, but i know i will feel so good once i finish- it’s just the getting started part that i have problems with.
-Personal Scripture study has been lacking as of late- the hubs and i have been amazing and have been on track to reading all the standard works by the end of the year (and we have had some crazy awesome discussions!) but my personal scripture study has been zilch. So i need a personal Come To Jesus time where i can sit, pray, read and reflect.
So there you have it- hopefully i can stick with this
i need to stick with this. So along with my regular post i will be chiming in on my daily goals, feeling and such